Chapter 42 (A Birthday Blog)

 How do you celebrate a birthday when you know you almost didn’t get here?

Right now, there’s about half an hour left before my birthday ends. My head is crowded with thoughts, and I’m not sure which ones to share first. This birthday isn’t just another candle on the cake. It’s a reminder that I fought hard to be here.

And here’s the part I can’t sugarcoat, the stroke I had was my fault. My lifestyle, my choices, my “I’ll be fine” attitude. All of it played a part. Admitting that stings, but it’s also what keeps me moving now.

I woke up at 12:45 a.m., realizing I’m 42. I’ve made it. While lying, I heard the rain outside and thought, “Please let it stop.” I had a 7.5 km run scheduled, and I didn’t want the weather to cancel it. By morning, the skies cleared, and we went to my favorite running ground in Ayala. I ran the full 7.5 km and walked another 1.5 km to cool down. Since I’m signed up for a 9 km race at the end of the month, I wanted to feel that distance on my legs. The verdict: VERY DOABLE!

After the run, we had breakfast at Bentang’s, because Sundays without their pancit feel incomplete. Then it was straight to Mass. The Gospel hit me hard. It was about selfishness and what happens when you only think of yourself. The priest spoke from his own experiences instead of taking jabs at others, which I loved. Somewhere during that Mass, my husband and I decided Sunday Mass should be part of our tradition again. We used to go every week, then laziness crept in. 

7.5k run and 1.5k walk after...

I signed up for Runna. I love it! It has everything-yoga, pilates, strength, mobility, pre and post run stretching. AND, their customer service is so responsive!

Bentang's pancit is a favee!!

From church, we went to SM city for my birthday buffet at Vikings. It’s tradition (buy-one-get-one promo for birthdays) and we’ve been doing it since 2017. The food’s definitely improved since last November (new chef, apparently). I avoided the dumplings because they still felt like chewy stress balls, but everything else was so good. I loaded my plate with salad, drank only infused water (okay, and one tiny sip of Sprite), and skipped rice and fried food entirely. My husband, now my unofficial “food police”, was quietly inspecting everything I ate. This is the same man who used to bring me random greasy food from the office, buy me cakes for no reason, and supported my “eat now, think later” habit. Times have changed, and I’m grateful.

We had planned to watch a movie after lunch, but we were so sleepy from waking up early that we went for a massage instead. I don’t remember half of it because I slept through the whole thing. Then it was home, and more sleeping. Here's a quick vid:

My birthday weekend started yesterday. My husband and I went to Zane's 1st birthday and Zach's  christening, where I was a ninang. They're both Janjan and Binbin’s son. Janjan is my husband's childhood friend.  I hadn’t slept since my night shift, so the trip to the church left me weak. Heat and exhaustion tend to lower my voice, and I felt it again that day. We still stayed for a while, enjoyed catching up with my husband’s friends who truly feel like family, and laughed watching him dance during the party. Thanks, langlang, for saying yes to sharing this video because it’s too funny not to!

children's parties are soooo fun!

So... how do you celebrate when you know you almost didn’t get here?

You celebrate with purpose. You run four times a week, you do Pilates (even if the side planks on the left side still feel like an Olympic event), yoga twice a week (and yes, I can now do a side stand on the left side! Progress!), and strength training once a week. You pass on fried food not because you’re vain, but because you’re fighting for your life.

Because I want to grow old with my husband and make fun of his wrinkly face
Because I don’t want my mama to lose me so soon
Because I want to be there for my nieces and nephew and see them grow old
Because I want to grow old with my siblings (laughing at the same dumb jokes)
Because I want to teach, lead, and train more people
Because I want to travel until my passport can’t keep up

Because I don’t want to lose me so soon

I still have fears, especially about food and health, but those fears keep me careful. My faith in God is what anchors me. I know I’m still here because of Him, and I’m choosing to make that mean something. 'Til next blog! 💛

From Hospital Bed to 8K: A 3-Month Check-In

From dragging my left side to finishing 8.04 km today, something I attempted to do maybe three or four times pre-stroke. I’d say that’s a pretty solid plot twist. It was a Sunday, too, which is when I’m supposed to do my long runs. The irony hit me while I was in the CR doing a #2. Not even kidding.

another Sunday at Bentang's

Link to what I wrote about my STROKE (while at the hospital): STROKED

Link to my recovery: STROKE RECOVERY

I now weigh 57.6 kg, which is more than 10 kg lighter than when I was hospitalized. I’ve also gained a bit of muscle in my arms and legs from moving daily and exercising at least 30 minutes a day.

My meals, especially on weekdays, are all homemade and usually look like this:

Breakfast: Overnight oats with chia, flax, and pumpkin seeds, walnuts, Greek yogurt, and nonfat milk

OR lugaw with boiled egg, turmeric, pepper, lots of ginger and garlic, spring onions, and chicken breast

Lunch: Any protein like chicken breast or lean pork loin, and salad (usually tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce)

I made spicy cabbage rolls one time. It has chicken breast, potatoes, carrots, green peas, sayote.

my husband's fave: roasted pork loin wrap, wwith cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, cream cheese, and wasabi paste

Pre-run fuel: Whole wheat bread with peanut butter, or boiled saba, or boiled camote

Dinner: Fish or chicken breast with utan bisaya or munggos (with everything on it (no meat), basically still utan bisaya) and kimchi, half cup of mais

My husband eats the same meals but in larger portions. I also make my own matcha tea. 

Weekends are when we indulge a little by eating out, but we still choose the healthier options. The canton at Bentang is my favorite post-run meal these days!

The result? Over the past three months, all my lab tests have come back normal. The most recent one was described by my doctor as “gwapa kaayo.” I thought she meant me. 😁

I also make sure to sleep early now. No more watching “everything i ate” videos on YouTube at 12 noon, sometimes until 3 PM. I work night shift, so yes, this was bad.

As always, deepest thanks to my husband and family for the overwhelming love and protection. To my doctors and caregivers at Chong Hua, the best hospital in my book. And to my boss, peers, and my amazing team at work, thank you for picking up the slack and for giving me grace as I ease back into this slightly slower version of myself.

AND HUGE HIGH FIVE TO MYSELF! For not giving up. For working hard to recover, even when it gets sooooooo exhausting. For learning about my condition through hours of reading and watching videos. For resisting the temptation to eat my favorite cakes, pata, and chicharon. To be honest, the last part wasn’t that hard. The thought of having a second stroke and going through all of this again is so terrifying, my mouth just shuts itself off at the sight of those foods or when i hear the words deep fried, buttery, creamy. Although, a very small bite won’t hurt once in a while.

I have come so far. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m here, right now, out and about, doing the things I love to do. Here’s a quick video of the huge difference in my progress. I cried while watching my past vids. It wasn't easy!

I am still not 100%. My left side is still a little weak especially my arms/hands but of course I'm going to continue to fight. Ako pa?

As always, thank you for reading this, for indulging me. I hope this helps, inspires, or maybe even scares some of you into facing the very real possibility of a stroke if you’re not taking care of yourself and eating well.

'Til the next blog. 💛