Dear Diary...

WARNING: Long post and unorganized thoughts/emotions 😁

“Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson has always been one of those songs I super duper love. I know it’s also the infamous song that made her infamous (that SNL moment, yiup), but honestly, I’ve never cared about that part.

RUNNING..
Hello to my running girlies! I just wanna know, do you wear makeup before running? On Sundays, I do wear makeup before I run, just a little blush and lip balm. And here’s the funny part, when I start running, my cheeks turn all flushed and pink. By the end, after sweating it all out, the makeup’s gone, leaving just a pale pink “natural” glow. I know it’s not really natural, but I still keep doing it. It’s funny to me, and I don’t think it’s bad, just one of those little quirks.

I recently signed up for RUNNA, a running app that I like because it also includes the strength exercises I need to improve my runs. And it’s cheap, less than 200 pesos a month (Netflix costs more!). Thanks to RUNNA’s plan, my longest run so far is 9K, and surprisingly, it felt easy. Maybe it was also my shoes that day, my Puma Deviate Nitro 3, which has great cushioning and energy return. Whatever the reason, that run felt really good.

If you don't want to spend money, I highly recommend NRC. I trained 5k using their plan and it worked! 

Link: 5k Training Using NRC Plan (8 weeks)

LEARNING, LEADERSHIP, AND SIBLINGS (?!)..

Work has been a lot of fun lately, and by fun, I mean busy. If you know me, you know how much I love my job and my team. This week was full of collaboration with both my team and leadership, and I couldn’t be prouder of everything we’ve accomplished.

This was during my birthday celeb. Thanks, Iresh, for the photo!

Today marks the end of the week, almost like the culmination of everything we’ve worked on. I can’t wait for it to be over, but I’m also very proud of how it went and what I learned. I feel a little sad the week is ending, but as always, I’m happy for the weekend. Not just to rest, but to spend a full weekend with my husband! ♥

I've always looooooved our wedding invite! 

The reason I love training is because I love learning. Whenever I’m with someone I look up to or a leader I want to emulate, I’m always in observation mode. I watch how they talk, lead, act in meetings, and stay authentic. That’s how I’ve learned from the mentors I’ve had.

A lot of who I am as a leader now comes from them, plus from my current boss. But lately, I’ve been seeing my leadership in a new light. Learning from my team has become just as fun. I’m mesmerized by how brilliant they are, not afraid to voice opinions, collaborative, and helpful. Being able to hear their ideas, develop them, and turn them into something beautiful feels like magic.

I’ve always been surrounded by brilliant people. My siblings are some of the smartest people I know, and so are my parents. Growing up, it was always fun outsmarting each other for the easier chores, to control the TV remote, or to get favors from our parents. We even created our own rules, like who cleans what, or what the “remote control” rules were. We figured it all out ourselves, with a lot of shady moves and mind tricks, and without needing our parents to intervene. There’s always been some sort of “order” in our home, one we figured out ourselves.

Now, as adults, that teamwork hasn’t gone away. These days, my siblings and I are focused on protecting our mother at all costs. Whenever something heavy or not-so-good is happening in our lives, we always talk first: does Mama need to know now? What’s the perfect timing? Who should be there when we tell her? She knows everything, but we do our best to protect her heart. It’s the same teamwork from when we were kids,  just with higher stakes and deeper love.

we miss you everyday, papa!

GOODBYES..

As a leader, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to saying goodbye to a team member, whether they move to another team, leave, or take a higher post. I care deeply about my team, so it’s always hard. At the same time, I know it’s part of the job. People come and go. It’s never going to be easy, but I try to be genuinely happy for them. 

Goodbyes with people I’m close to can be emotional. I might even cry if I say goodbye face-to-face. Being their leader has always been real. and the joy I feel far outweighs the few sad moments ("c'mon!" - they know this! 😁).

Even though these moments are hard, I’ve accepted that it’s part of the journey. It’s part of what I signed up for, and I’m here for it. But, it's sad.. 

MY BRAIN, AND FOOD..

My brain almost killed me, as you all know from my previous posts. I notice my brain doesn’t lag anymore. Sure, I feel tired by the end of a long, focused day, especially if I’ve been using it nonstop during my shift. But I take my lunches and breaks seriously, and the fatigue always fades after a run, pilates, strength training, or yoga. I’m really impressed by the changes in how I think now. It’s crazy, in the best way! Although I'm a little bit forgetful but it could just be the age. I hope!

One thing that surprises me is that I honestly don’t crave fatty food anymore. I look forward to going home for my cup of monggos, roasted fish, and kimchi. That’s really crazy for me! The only thing I still crave, and I’ve mentioned this since 3-4 blogs ago, is pancit from Bentang. Sundays just aren’t complete without it.

Typical everyday balon when I have a run. Isn't my yellow notebook the cutest? Thanks, Ez!

BKFC..

Lately I’ve been watching a lot of fights from the Bare Knuckle Fighting Championships. I’ve been a fight fan ever since I can remember, thanks to my father and my brothers who influenced me. I’ve watched a ton of boxing and MMA fights, both live and on TV. But bare knuckle fighting is a whole different world. The fights are short, obviously, since they don’t have gloves, and while I love the slugfest, the knockouts, and the sheer rawness of it, I can’t say I love the blood part. What really pulls me in is seeing just how much strength one person can have, to the point where it feels like it could literally kill someone with one clean shot.

Hubby and I with my idol, Edward Folayang, about 10 years ago at the Team Lakay gym. It was so awesome watching him actually teach MMA classes in person! He's so nice!

At the same time, I miss the technical aspect that’s more visible in boxing and MMA. If you’re a technical fighter, I honestly feel like you don’t stand much of a chance in bare-knuckle, it’s just too straightforward. Still, I give all the kudos to those fighters because what they’re doing is incredibly brave. The women fighters especially, I can’t even imagine stepping into a ring without gloves on. Personally, I’d never do it, no matter how much I love combat sports. My worry is always about the long term effects when they grow old. Still, as a fan, I have to admit I’ve had a lot of fun watching. It’s raw, it’s intense, it’s something else entirely.

And that's it! 'Til next blog! 💛

Chapter 42 (A Birthday Blog)

 How do you celebrate a birthday when you know you almost didn’t get here?

Right now, there’s about half an hour left before my birthday ends. My head is crowded with thoughts, and I’m not sure which ones to share first. This birthday isn’t just another candle on the cake. It’s a reminder that I fought hard to be here.

And here’s the part I can’t sugarcoat, the stroke I had was my fault. My lifestyle, my choices, my “I’ll be fine” attitude. All of it played a part. Admitting that stings, but it’s also what keeps me moving now.

I woke up at 12:45 a.m., realizing I’m 42. I’ve made it. While lying, I heard the rain outside and thought, “Please let it stop.” I had a 7.5 km run scheduled, and I didn’t want the weather to cancel it. By morning, the skies cleared, and we went to my favorite running ground in Ayala. I ran the full 7.5 km and walked another 1.5 km to cool down. Since I’m signed up for a 9 km race at the end of the month, I wanted to feel that distance on my legs. The verdict: VERY DOABLE!

After the run, we had breakfast at Bentang’s, because Sundays without their pancit feel incomplete. Then it was straight to Mass. The Gospel hit me hard. It was about selfishness and what happens when you only think of yourself. The priest spoke from his own experiences instead of taking jabs at others, which I loved. Somewhere during that Mass, my husband and I decided Sunday Mass should be part of our tradition again. We used to go every week, then laziness crept in. 

7.5k run and 1.5k walk after...

I signed up for Runna. I love it! It has everything-yoga, pilates, strength, mobility, pre and post run stretching. AND, their customer service is so responsive!

Bentang's pancit is a favee!!

From church, we went to SM city for my birthday buffet at Vikings. It’s tradition (buy-one-get-one promo for birthdays) and we’ve been doing it since 2017. The food’s definitely improved since last November (new chef, apparently). I avoided the dumplings because they still felt like chewy stress balls, but everything else was so good. I loaded my plate with salad, drank only infused water (okay, and one tiny sip of Sprite), and skipped rice and fried food entirely. My husband, now my unofficial “food police”, was quietly inspecting everything I ate. This is the same man who used to bring me random greasy food from the office, buy me cakes for no reason, and supported my “eat now, think later” habit. Times have changed, and I’m grateful.

We had planned to watch a movie after lunch, but we were so sleepy from waking up early that we went for a massage instead. I don’t remember half of it because I slept through the whole thing. Then it was home, and more sleeping. Here's a quick vid:

My birthday weekend started yesterday. My husband and I went to Zane's 1st birthday and Zach's  christening, where I was a ninang. They're both Janjan and Binbin’s son. Janjan is my husband's childhood friend.  I hadn’t slept since my night shift, so the trip to the church left me weak. Heat and exhaustion tend to lower my voice, and I felt it again that day. We still stayed for a while, enjoyed catching up with my husband’s friends who truly feel like family, and laughed watching him dance during the party. Thanks, langlang, for saying yes to sharing this video because it’s too funny not to!

children's parties are soooo fun!

So... how do you celebrate when you know you almost didn’t get here?

You celebrate with purpose. You run four times a week, you do Pilates (even if the side planks on the left side still feel like an Olympic event), yoga twice a week (and yes, I can now do a side stand on the left side! Progress!), and strength training once a week. You pass on fried food not because you’re vain, but because you’re fighting for your life.

Because I want to grow old with my husband and make fun of his wrinkly face
Because I don’t want my mama to lose me so soon
Because I want to be there for my nieces and nephew and see them grow old
Because I want to grow old with my siblings (laughing at the same dumb jokes)
Because I want to teach, lead, and train more people
Because I want to travel until my passport can’t keep up

Because I don’t want to lose me so soon

I still have fears, especially about food and health, but those fears keep me careful. My faith in God is what anchors me. I know I’m still here because of Him, and I’m choosing to make that mean something. 'Til next blog! 💛