Chapter 42 (A Birthday Blog)

 How do you celebrate a birthday when you know you almost didn’t get here?

Right now, there’s about half an hour left before my birthday ends. My head is crowded with thoughts, and I’m not sure which ones to share first. This birthday isn’t just another candle on the cake. It’s a reminder that I fought hard to be here.

And here’s the part I can’t sugarcoat, the stroke I had was my fault. My lifestyle, my choices, my “I’ll be fine” attitude. All of it played a part. Admitting that stings, but it’s also what keeps me moving now.

I woke up at 12:45 a.m., realizing I’m 42. I’ve made it. While lying, I heard the rain outside and thought, “Please let it stop.” I had a 7.5 km run scheduled, and I didn’t want the weather to cancel it. By morning, the skies cleared, and we went to my favorite running ground in Ayala. I ran the full 7.5 km and walked another 1.5 km to cool down. Since I’m signed up for a 9 km race at the end of the month, I wanted to feel that distance on my legs. The verdict: VERY DOABLE!

After the run, we had breakfast at Bentang’s, because Sundays without their pancit feel incomplete. Then it was straight to Mass. The Gospel hit me hard. It was about selfishness and what happens when you only think of yourself. The priest spoke from his own experiences instead of taking jabs at others, which I loved. Somewhere during that Mass, my husband and I decided Sunday Mass should be part of our tradition again. We used to go every week, then laziness crept in. 

7.5k run and 1.5k walk after...

I signed up for Runna. I love it! It has everything-yoga, pilates, strength, mobility, pre and post run stretching. AND, their customer service is so responsive!

Bentang's pancit is a favee!!

From church, we went to SM city for my birthday buffet at Vikings. It’s tradition (buy-one-get-one promo for birthdays) and we’ve been doing it since 2017. The food’s definitely improved since last November (new chef, apparently). I avoided the dumplings because they still felt like chewy stress balls, but everything else was so good. I loaded my plate with salad, drank only infused water (okay, and one tiny sip of Sprite), and skipped rice and fried food entirely. My husband, now my unofficial “food police”, was quietly inspecting everything I ate. This is the same man who used to bring me random greasy food from the office, buy me cakes for no reason, and supported my “eat now, think later” habit. Times have changed, and I’m grateful.

We had planned to watch a movie after lunch, but we were so sleepy from waking up early that we went for a massage instead. I don’t remember half of it because I slept through the whole thing. Then it was home, and more sleeping. Here's a quick vid:

My birthday weekend started yesterday. My husband and I went to Zane's 1st birthday and Zach's  christening, where I was a ninang. They're both Janjan and Binbin’s son. Janjan is my husband's childhood friend.  I hadn’t slept since my night shift, so the trip to the church left me weak. Heat and exhaustion tend to lower my voice, and I felt it again that day. We still stayed for a while, enjoyed catching up with my husband’s friends who truly feel like family, and laughed watching him dance during the party. Thanks, langlang, for saying yes to sharing this video because it’s too funny not to!

children's parties are soooo fun!

So... how do you celebrate when you know you almost didn’t get here?

You celebrate with purpose. You run four times a week, you do Pilates (even if the side planks on the left side still feel like an Olympic event), yoga twice a week (and yes, I can now do a side stand on the left side! Progress!), and strength training once a week. You pass on fried food not because you’re vain, but because you’re fighting for your life.

Because I want to grow old with my husband and make fun of his wrinkly face
Because I don’t want my mama to lose me so soon
Because I want to be there for my nieces and nephew and see them grow old
Because I want to grow old with my siblings (laughing at the same dumb jokes)
Because I want to teach, lead, and train more people
Because I want to travel until my passport can’t keep up

Because I don’t want to lose me so soon

I still have fears, especially about food and health, but those fears keep me careful. My faith in God is what anchors me. I know I’m still here because of Him, and I’m choosing to make that mean something. 'Til next blog! 💛

From Hospital Bed to 8K: A 3-Month Check-In

From dragging my left side to finishing 8.04 km today, something I attempted to do maybe three or four times pre-stroke. I’d say that’s a pretty solid plot twist. It was a Sunday, too, which is when I’m supposed to do my long runs. The irony hit me while I was in the CR doing a #2. Not even kidding.

another Sunday at Bentang's

Link to what I wrote about my STROKE (while at the hospital): STROKED

Link to my recovery: STROKE RECOVERY

I now weigh 57.6 kg, which is more than 10 kg lighter than when I was hospitalized. I’ve also gained a bit of muscle in my arms and legs from moving daily and exercising at least 30 minutes a day.

My meals, especially on weekdays, are all homemade and usually look like this:

Breakfast: Overnight oats with chia, flax, and pumpkin seeds, walnuts, Greek yogurt, and nonfat milk

OR lugaw with boiled egg, turmeric, pepper, lots of ginger and garlic, spring onions, and chicken breast

Lunch: Any protein like chicken breast or lean pork loin, and salad (usually tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce)

I made spicy cabbage rolls one time. It has chicken breast, potatoes, carrots, green peas, sayote.

my husband's fave: roasted pork loin wrap, wwith cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, cream cheese, and wasabi paste

Pre-run fuel: Whole wheat bread with peanut butter, or boiled saba, or boiled camote

Dinner: Fish or chicken breast with utan bisaya or munggos (with everything on it (no meat), basically still utan bisaya) and kimchi, half cup of mais

My husband eats the same meals but in larger portions. I also make my own matcha tea. 

Weekends are when we indulge a little by eating out, but we still choose the healthier options. The canton at Bentang is my favorite post-run meal these days!

The result? Over the past three months, all my lab tests have come back normal. The most recent one was described by my doctor as “gwapa kaayo.” I thought she meant me. 😁

I also make sure to sleep early now. No more watching “everything i ate” videos on YouTube at 12 noon, sometimes until 3 PM. I work night shift, so yes, this was bad.

As always, deepest thanks to my husband and family for the overwhelming love and protection. To my doctors and caregivers at Chong Hua, the best hospital in my book. And to my boss, peers, and my amazing team at work, thank you for picking up the slack and for giving me grace as I ease back into this slightly slower version of myself.

AND HUGE HIGH FIVE TO MYSELF! For not giving up. For working hard to recover, even when it gets sooooooo exhausting. For learning about my condition through hours of reading and watching videos. For resisting the temptation to eat my favorite cakes, pata, and chicharon. To be honest, the last part wasn’t that hard. The thought of having a second stroke and going through all of this again is so terrifying, my mouth just shuts itself off at the sight of those foods or when i hear the words deep fried, buttery, creamy. Although, a very small bite won’t hurt once in a while.

I have come so far. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m here, right now, out and about, doing the things I love to do. Here’s a quick video of the huge difference in my progress. I cried while watching my past vids. It wasn't easy!

I am still not 100%. My left side is still a little weak especially my arms/hands but of course I'm going to continue to fight. Ako pa?

As always, thank you for reading this, for indulging me. I hope this helps, inspires, or maybe even scares some of you into facing the very real possibility of a stroke if you’re not taking care of yourself and eating well.

'Til the next blog. 💛

Solo

I spent Sat-Sun without my husband. His team is having a team building activity in Bohol, and if you know me, I never join those. I want my husband to really enjoy without thinking about me, especially after my stroke. I MISS HIM!!!!!

Right now, I'm in Kaayoo Cafe and it's so silent. I'm alone and not used to not having him to talk to about everything, or eavesdrop or just gossip!

This is what I'm having here.

I think this is the most post-stroke friendly food item they have. I was gonna go to Birdseed Breakfast Club but they open late and I’m hungry, so here I am. It's clean. It's silent. It's 8AM so that could be why. The embutido is not dry. I didn't eat the rice and just ate half the embutido and eggs.

Anyway, yesterday after driving my husband and his teammate to Pier 3, my team and I went to IT Park for karaoke. I was afraid I couldn’t handle the noise, especially the bass from the speakers. I was so hesitant to go in and was thinking of walking out the whole time, but I kept thinking about the quote that says not to avoid something just because you’re afraid. So I observed for a little while and actually began enjoying the noise.

My team is hilarious and I was trying so hard not to exert so much energy because I don’t want to go home with just 5% body battery left. I’m a changed person now. Before, I used to still do my long runs with just that much. Yeah, I did abuse my body, but definitely not anymore.

After that we went to Taoist Temple. I’ve been there probably almost 20 years ago. I forgot it had looooong stairs! We made it to the top but not without a few minutes' rest and my knees shaking. My gosh! I need to do an incline walk!

Thanks, Irish, for the photo!

After that I went to an empty and silent home. It's so different without my husband there. I watched some episodes of Desperate Housewives (which I’ve rewatched more than 10 times) and ate my leftover roasted chicken breast, kimchi, utan Bisaya, and lugaw. Had a looong sleep after that.

At around 3:30 AM this morning, I ate my pre-run oatmeal and a slice of wheat bread with peanut butter.

This is my run today!

There’s a running event in Ayala, so I had to park at the office. Sooo happy with my run. This is my longest, even pre-stroke, and I am not tired at all! I walked the first 10 minutes, jogged for 20, walked for 5, and jogged for 20 (repeated 2x).

After here, I’ll again go home to a silent home. Uli na, tweet! 😁

Update: Okay. So I didn't go home. I went grocery shopping for the prep meals. Happy Sunday! Now I'm home. Here's the pic I sent to my husband to show off!

'Til next blog! 💛

Stroke Recovery

Scroll down for the latest update.. 

June 5, 2025 - 5:59 pm

Quick Health Updates:

BP: Normal

Blood Sugar: Normal

Weight: 63 kg

Height: Still below 5ft 🤣

I didn’t really tell everyone about my recent stroke. I know I wrote about it here, but I also know that only my family and a few close friends read this. So when I posted about it in my FB stories, a lot of my friends messaged me. They asked how I am, what I felt, what happened. Some of them came here to read and find out more.

That made me think:

maybe blogging about it can actually help people. Maybe it can help raise awareness, or at least show how hard the recovery process really is so that maybe, just maybe, they’ll start eating better and living healthier. Because if you’re my friend, I KNOW that one of the things that bond us is probably food (buffet and cakes, right?) Haha.

So… here we are.

Today’s Milestone:

I've been walking 2km for the past 3 days. I feel good. Today, I used both hands to put the laces on my shoes. It was hard. It took time. But I made it. Tiny win? Maybe. But for me, it’s a huge step forward. I can also already peel kamote using both hands. Again, it was hard.

I also tried typing on my laptop, and yep, it was kind of a disaster. I typed one sentence and my arms got tired. I also found out that my ring finger isn’t that strong. I’ll try again tomorrow. Because that’s what progress looks like:

one slow, stubborn miracle at a time.

June 9, 2025 - 6:27 pm

Logged my longest walk and hit my fastest pace yet! Still working on my balance and refining my gait, definitely not at 100% there, but I’m moving forward (literally).

Tried standing on my left leg (the weak side), held it for around 5 seconds before I wobbled

My left arm is noticeably stronger now, and my fingers are starting to catch up. Little by little, strength is coming back. Last weekend's "swimming" aka kapay-kapay sa kamot helped A LOT! 

June 14, 2025 - 10:15 am

We all have to start somewhere.. :)

June 20, 2025 - 6:42 pm

I’m typing this using both my left and right fingers on my phone, so yes, it took time (haha!) but it’s much faster than before. Yesterday, I did a typing test on my laptop and hit 20 words per minute. For someone who couldn’t move her fingers a few weeks ago? That’s a huge deal. Progress is coming in fast these days

On top of that, I’ve been walking 3KM daily for the past 3 days. The best news? My doctor officially cleared me to return to work on the 30th! YES!!! I’m honestly so excited. Life, my life, our life, is slowly piecing itself back together.

When I was in the hospital, watching my left hand and foot weaken, losing control over them, I didn’t know if I’d ever come back to this kind of normal. At that time, just standing up without fear was the dream. Today, I’m living what I once prayed for. I’m so, so thankful.

While I was at the clinic, I met another stroke survivor, his happened 5 months ago. He said he went through a period of depression because his body became so weak. I realized, I never really had the space to feel that way. My husband constantly smiled and cracked jokes. My siblings would call and make me laugh about everything (including my condition 🤣). My mom was on daily food patrol, always checking on my meals and reminding me not to stress.

I AM SO BLESSED.

Between laughing with my family, doing my exercises, planning meals (and mourning humba nga tambok and lechon 😅), and taking 2-hour naps from sheer exhaustion, I didn’t have time to spiral. I was laser-focused on healing and getting my life back. And now, step by step, I am.

ANYWAY, I did a 15-minute hand-and-foot coordination dance routine. My left hand kept up with the rhythm, it didn’t fully open or stay raised for long, but it moved the entire time. It showed up. That’s what matters.

Yes to life. Yes to healing. Yes to coming back stronger. 💛

July 8, 2025 - 12:21 am

It’s been about a week since I returned to work, and I just wanted to say, it feels sooooo good to be back. Seeing everyone again, hearing the same laughter in the halls (and in the group chats), and getting back into the rhythm of work… it’s like coming home to something familiar.

My left arm is still at about 80%, so typing is slower than usual, but I can catch up just fine. Yes, I typo a lot.. 😂

There’s also been a big shift in the company. Same team, smaller in number, but bigger in purpos. It’s a good kind of change. I’m grateful for every "welcome back" message and every quiet moment of kindness shared with me. Those things mean more than you know.

The milestones don’t stop just because I’m back at work. Yesterday, I walked 5.05 km and even ran for a total of 12 mins in 3-min increments. A small run for most, but a huge leap for my healing body. From barely standing on my left leg to running (slowly, but surely), I can’t even describe what that felt like. I did a little victory/happy dance yesterday when I was done. My husband filmed it. I may show it here (let me think about it.. haha!)

This post will be the last bit of my stroke recovery blog, I’ve written enough about survival. I’ll share new milestones in a separate space, where recovery no longer sounds like rehab, but more like reclaiming.

"Til next blog! 💛

STROKED

From training for a 10K race to this:

April 27:

I was getting ready for my Sunday run with my husband when my left knee started buckling. My body kept pulling toward the left side. Something in me immediately thought stroke. So, I searched online what the symptoms were. It said to check the mirror for facial drooping. Mine wasn’t obviously drooping, but it lookd off.

Then my husband said he couldn't understand what I was saying That was it. I told him we had to go NOW. We rushed to the nearest private hospital in Talisay.

I got immediate assistance, and after a CT scan, I was admitted.

The symptoms progressed fast.

April 28 (Monday): My left leg felt heavier.

April 29 (Tuesday): I couldn’t control my fingers.

I cried every night for the first three nights, too much binhod in my arms and legs. It was the worst.

My husband was with me the whole time, my rock Truly, a blessing.

That Tuesday night, we decided to transfer to a better hospital in Cebu City.

April 30 (Wednesday):

We made the move.

A super, super HUGE THANK YOU to the Red Cross volunteers who helped me during the transfer from Naga City to Cebu. The doctor on board was so inspiring. We had a great conversation throughout the trip. Actually, all of them were inspiring.

I’ll never see the Red Cross the same way again. I now have the utmost respect for what they do. I’ll never forget it.

At the new hospital, I was immediately seen by multiple doctors in the ER. They asked tons of questions; what happened, what I was feeling.

One of them asked, “Who’s the President of the Philippines? I totally blanked. Guess that says something! (Definitely nothing to do with my illness though haha!)

BUT, I aced the Math questions, thank you very much!

I went through another set of tests. The MRI was the worst.

I’ll write down all the tests I went through when I can.

Fast forward to today, May 2, 9:44 AM.

I still don’t have control of my fingers. Lifting my arms feels like lifting something super heavy.

BUT, my facial imbalance is getting better. And just now, on my way to and from the CR, my left leg didn’t buckle as much. I could actually stand longer. That’s progress.

Most importantly, inside, I feel strong. I feel inspired. And I feel overwhelmed with love and support from my family and friends.

I received this from my boss. Thhe hospital didn't allow the vase. I cried. ❤️

May 4, 2025 - 5:53 pm

They removed my IV today, finally! That means during tomorrow’s PT, we can start focusing on my left hand and fingers. I could barely control them, but earlier, with every ounce of strength I had, I managed to form a fist and move my fingers just a liiiiiittle. My husband and I had a small but sweet celebration over that tiny victory. It meant everything.

I can now also raise my left arm straight! It's HEAVY!!!!

I also had my first walk outside my room today. Yes, friends, I literally had to learn how to walk again.

But hey, if I pulled it off as a baby, how much more now, right?

Today is a great day. A hopeful one.

May 7, 2025 - 2:55 pm

I’M GOING HOME TODAY!!!

We’re just waiting for the final bill, and then we’re outta here! I’ve been counting down to this day since last week, and now it’s finally happening!

Quick health update:

My left leg is stronger.

I can control my left arm better (I can now reach my right ear. Progress!).

Blood sugar and BP are stable.

My face is almost back to normal.

On the flip side, my fingers are still on their own little journey (minimal control so far), and yes, the meds just keep coming (hello,  insulin). But in short: ALL IS WELL.

I’ve still got a long road ahead, but I’m fighting, and def not stopping.

I’m beyond grateful for the overwhelming love from my family and friends.

And a huge shoutout to the incredible doctors, nurses, PTs, food staff, and cleaning crew at Chong Hua. They’ve all been so kind and trust me, when you’re sick, kindness is everything. Also, not a tightass in sight. I SWEAR! That alone deserves a standing ovation. 🫶

I can’t wait to breathe fresh air again. Let’s gooooo!!!

May 12, 2025 - 5:43 pm

After 2 weeks, I can finally slightly open my fingers! It took all my strength (and some very deep breaths), but we’re moving, baby! It might not seem like much, but this is a big deal for me. Progress is progress, and I’m sooo happy! Slowly but surely, we’re getting there!

May 20, 2025 - 7:17 pm

Walked slow and hit 1km! Balance is still off, and I’m working on it. Making sure every step is perfect is tiring, it took a bit of effort. I was sweating, but I felt so good after. I stretched my legs a little bit afterward. To be honest, I felt like I could do more, but the goal this week is just 20 minutes, and I decided to stick to it. I think I did really well!

May 22, 2025 - 7:53 pn

I just joined a stroke survivor support group today and I cried.

Because it’s true, only stroke survivors really know the strugle. The horror of being fully aware, but feeling helpless. Knowing your body isn’t doing what you’re telling it to do. Watching parts of yourself stop working just like that.

Who am I kidding? I’m crying as I write this.

Yes, I’m doing well and I’m healing. I’m out of the woods. But every single day of recovry takes so much strength. So much willpower. And the fear that my life might never be the same again? That’s something I still carry with me. It’s terrifying.

But today, reading the stories in that group, seeing people share their recovery, their grit, their wins, I felt something else too. I felt hope. Because I know how hard it is. I know that pain. I know that fight. And seeing how they pushed through it? That gives me courage.

So to all of them, to all of us, hats off. We’re surviving something that tried to break us. And we’re still here, we're still alive!!! 🫡